TAG!

Ok, my wife "tagged" me with this. I guess I'm supposed to finish five of the sentences below and then "tag" three others to continue the game. Slight problem with that... I don't know anybody! Oh well. Here's my list...

If I could be a scientist . . .
If I could be a farmer . . .
If I could be a musician . . .
If I could be a doctor . . .
If I could be a painter . . .
If I could be a gardener . . .
If I could be a missionary . . .
If I could be a chef . . .
If I could be an architect . . .
If I could be a linguist . . .
If I could be a psychologist . . .
If I could be a librarian . . .
If I could be an athlete . . .
If I could be a lawyer . . .
If I could be an inn-keeper . . .
If I could be a professor . . .
If I could be a writer . . .
If I could be a llama-rider . . .
If I could be a bonnie pirate . . .
If I could be an astronaut . . .
If I could be a world famous blogger . . .
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world . . .
If I could be married to any current famous political figure . . .

So, of the choices listed above I chose these.

If I could be an inn keeper I would run a bed and breakfast for rednecks. You'd have to help with the chores and kill your own food. Why would that be a vacation? I'd let you sleep in until 5:30 and your sheets wouldn't smell like cow patties. Plus, there'd be a rule that you can only have a maximum of two people in a bed, which would allow everyone to have a lot more elbow room. The water would be hot and fresh for everyone and I wouldn't bother you with modern distractions like phones, newspapers, or a TV. That way you could concentrate on your whittling during our group happy hour.

Okay, that one's a joke, but the next one's legit...

If I could be a doctor, I'd specialize in pediatrics. I would love to help little kids who have to be taught that it's okay to trust someone. How sad is that when we have to teach our kids it's okay to trust someone because they learn too quickly that trust can be broken and so will their little hearts. God, help me never break the trust of my children.

If I could be a lawyer, I'd defend churches from liberal groups who want separation of church and state (which is NOT mentioned in the Constitution by the way - it's a phrase used by Thomas Jefferson in a personal letter) but only as long as that means no church. It's funny how the people who want Jesus out of schools also want to dictate (yes, I said "dictate" like a dictator would do) to churches that they must hire gay activists and people who don't follow the church's teachings all in the name of "diversity and tolerance." Hey, Egghead! Why can't you tolerate me practicing my faith in a way that has no impact on your life?

If I could be a scientist, I'd figure out how to turn salt water into fuel and make the technology affordable so that I could start my own company. I'd sell after market engines that would be just as powerful (or more so) as the engines that come in your car. That way I could concentrate on the fuel economy stuff and leave the pretty designs to the big car companies. Also, if people have to buy American cars before they can get one of my engines (they'd be the wrong size to fit into foreign cars) it would help the domestic job market by keeping people employed.

If I could be a professor, I'd teach ethics at UC Berkeley. HAH! Can you see me teaching ethics at a liberal college like Berkeley? I'd get into so many arguments with my students and other professors that I'd either be fired within two minutes or I'd become the most popular professor on campus and a rallying point for all the conservatives within 100 miles.

Anyway... that's my list for now. If you'd like to copy the top part and put it on your own blog, please leave me a comment with your blog address so I can develop a friends list. Please? I don't have any friends. :-<